By Green Snake
Weather: Sunny, a bit chilly.
Before I left the motel, my neighbor asked me about my bike. He was staying in the next room probably with family. I told him about my Ninja 300 and my trip. We smoked some of my home grown tobacco, which I carried.
Back on the I-80. Almost got blown off. I had a mini heart attack. My bike suddenly shifted 2 to 3 feet.
I stopped in a Sinclair Gas Station in Elko, NV. I ate at the Port of Subs which is like a Subway except in this part of America. They also freshly carve the meat in front of you. I got the Classic Sub #1, an Italian Sub. In my opinion, I think this is around the same level as Subway. The best sandwiches are from New York delis, but you're going to have to pay double and they really stack up the ingredients. I took a picture of the Sinclair Dino Statue. Some of the gas stations have them. Did you know people have committed atrocities against Dino 😬? This is why we can't have nice things.
I met a biker who entered the parking lot. He had a Honda CB500X and was 70+ years old. He said he started riding recently. We talked about motorcycles and traveling.
The fuel at this point was still "regular 85" which is ok at high altitudes. I can't tell the difference. I tested my bike and was able to max out at 106 mph.
The area here was still a desolate desert. I made it to Bonneville Salt Flats, Utah. I made it to the Bonneville sign. Behind the sign was a ton of stickers and graffiti. The field was slightly flooded. I wouldn't have raced on it anyways since the salt may goof up my bike. When it was slightly flooded, it had the effect of a giant mirror. People were walking in shallow salt. I thought about it, but decided to taste a little bit of the water with my finger. It was salty 🥴. I got some merch at the nearby Sinclair Gas Station.

Salt lake City is surrounded by mountains and is in the mountains. I went to Round 1. I got a high score in the BB game,OnPoint. I went to the Starbucks nearby to buy my friend a "Been There" mug which he collects. I talked to the cashier about her pins and showed her my pins that I've accumulated on my bag. This Stabucks was absolutely scenic.


Made it to Provo, Utah. Ate at the In-N-Out Burger. I stayed at a hotel. I noticed they had a lot of free State maps. No Laundromat here so I drove two blocks away. to The Busy Bee Laundromat. I felt like principal Skinner from the Simpsons doing laundry. I wish I had brought more underwear. The machines washed my clothes extra fast. I cleaned and organized the place since I had nothing better to do.

Today, my shoulders felt pinched for a while. Taking it easier today and for the rest of my trip. My body is dying. Maybe I need even more sleep.
Trip: ~410 miles.
Weather: Great, little chilly.
Left at 10 am. I really should leave earlier but I am pretty tired. Went through another mountain. Snow everywhere. Was freezing but not like the California area.
Headed to Moab Giants. Lots of kids here bouncing off the walls. This place has a lot of dinosaur statues. I didn't pay to get in. I ate a burger at the cafe and watched some Cars (film). I saw a black cat behind a window.

I went to Arches National Park. Drove my motorcycle up the steep winding road. Once you get to the top, you arrive in a vast otherworldly, unforgiving rocky park sprinkled with plants and almost no signs of animal life. I don't think I saw a single bird. Saw The Balanced Rock.


Went to do the Delicate Arch hike. This hike is no joke. Here I am with heavy steel-toed boots, heavy motorcycle jeans, thick leggings, a heavy motorcycle jacket and a rain coat and a back pack full of trinkets 🤡. I'm more ready to clown than climb. If I got those stolen, I'm screwed. I thought it was going to be a short hike so I walked up with no water. About 15 minutes in, I asked someone how much is left and he said a lot. I was tempted to go back to get some water, but I'm like my bike, there are 6 ways to go forward, but not backwards. I saw some cave men paintings. If you mess them up, you get fined a gazillion dollars and get put in a cage.
As I walked up, there was this huge hill. From the bottom, everyone at the top looked like ants. A few times, I would walk for 10 minutes and rest for 10 minutes. This thing was steep. After that, it was 20 minutes of brisk walking.
I just asked for water from people going downhill and I would take their picture with my instax. I did that twice. One with a nice couple. and one with this Asian girl group. I took their picture with their camera and 2 instaxes for them since the first film was goofy.
I saw a bunch of kids walking past me just bouncing off the walls. After the top of the hill, which took forever, it was about 20 more minutes of mild uphill walking. I saw the Delicate Arch. This lone arc on this elevated plateau seemed really out of place. This place was a really cool place to just chill. It was like a party up here. A lot of people were just sitting and chilling. There was even one person painting the arc. It was a great reward to be up here after that brutal hike. Took about an hour to get up and way less than that to get down, even with my heavy motorcycle suit. Also note, people have died doing this hike so please climb carefully since there's no railing. There is a path you can drive on to see the Delicate Arch from a far distance, but that's not what I wanted. No mud, no lotus.
I decided that was enough adventure for one day and left the park. South of the park is Moab, Utah. This town is like one big camping town. It's really bustling and hip. They even got interesting restaurants. Maybe, I'll come back here. Las Vegas is only a 7 hour drive. Sun goes out at roughly 8 pm. I decided to ride out a little more.
At Blanding, Utah, I settled at the Four Corners Inn. Ate at a Homestead Steakhouse, Country fried steak. A guy talked to me about my bike. We talked about bikes and he had a 97' Harley Sportster. He said it was pretty cold to be riding. Talked about a heated jacket. I should get one, but I normally just ride with more layers.
I suspect everyone rides bikes here. I got a sewing kit from the inn receptionist and repaired my rain jacket again, but better.
Trip: ~300 miles.
Weather: Sunny and a bit warm.
I returned the sewing kit and went south. A bunch of wild donkeys were on the road and I'm glad I wasn't riding too fast. At this point I was entering the Navajo Nation. Went to Forrest Gump point. Took pictures. There were quite a bit of people. Went to the Navajo Visitor Center. Talked to a man who was selling jewelry and nice wood carvings. Bought a sticker. He talked about Ducati bikes, the expensive kind. Went to Monument Valley. Paid $8 to see the sights. There is a great vantage point here and a nice Navajo museum. I saw a picture of a man growing food. Wow, literally me.



Went to Four Corners Monument. This is where four state borders meet. Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, Colorado. Paid $8. Waited in line for a picture. To touch all four states, some people lie down like a star fish, stand, sit, or lie down. Road was slippery here due to all the gravel. Had to walk it at low speeds. They had some Navajo merch and food. Navajo food is South-western American. Meat, veggies, and spice. Some people try to scatter ashes here, but the Navajo don't like that and forbid it.
Went to Ute Mountain Casino. A dealer tried to wave me into a table. I waved back and said I had bad luck. I believe if I win, my daily luck will be diminished and I'll crash and die a fiery death. Had the native taco. It was bigger than my head. It was pretty good.
Saw a dead skunk. Drove past that and smelled it. It was my first time smelling a skunk. Smelled like burning rotten chemicals. Had to stop at one point for a dozen wild deer to cross.
Skipped Mesa Verde National Park. Went through Rio Grande National Forest. It was pretty cold. I had to slow down since it was full of shaded ice and sharp turns.
Arrived in Alamosa, Colorado. There was an arcade here but it was closed. I rode past the Thai House. I decided then and there to just eat there. For Thai Food, I normally get Pad Thai or Green Curry. I got there 30 minutes before it closed. Ordered shrimp Pad Thai. I was shaking from the cold 🥶.
Went to my target motel. It had no vacancy. A first for me. Went to Super 8. $102 but the receptionist told me to check online. I checked through Priceline.com and I got $10 off. Thank you, Priceline. I swear, none of these hotel systems are in sync.
The receptionist told me about driving and seeing a mountain lion at 3 am. At night, I had to turn off the heater since it was making demon noises.
Trip: ~420 miles.
Weather: Cold, sunny.
I headed off for the Great Sand Dunes National Park. Side note: if you're a veteran, you can go to these National Parks for free. I went into the visitor center and got some merch, a sticker, and a pin. These parks have a lot of great merch especially for kids. They even have shelf stable sandwiches and pizza. My camera was goofing near the rabbit. I read that's due to light flickering which causes these black horizontal lines.

I went to the Dunes parking lot and saw the dunes. I asked the first person, "How long was the climb?" They said about 2 hours 🥴. You can also camp here too, you know. I began my climb to the top. The place reminded me of "Soldier of Love" by Sade. Saw a lot of family and kids. I came somewhat prepared. I brought my Gatorlyte, I climbed to the one peak and when I got there, there were more peaks. The top peak is ~750 feet or 50 stories tall. As high as a skyscraper. I wasn't acclimatized to the elevation and I was wearing my heavy motorcycle suit, so I would get winded every 3 steps near the top. At the top, there were only maybe 5 other people and 1 kid. The kid with his sand board, and full face gear was ahead of me. Ahead of everyone. Some people do this bare foot and look decked out with fancy REI gear. The higher you got, the higher the wind speed. My face was pelted by high-speed sand. Maybe I should have worn my helmet. Take a look at the pictures of the dunes. Look closely for the tiny black dots. Those are people.



You could buy or rent a special sand board and wax to ride the waves here. I wanted to ask someone to use their board but I didn't feel like it. After I climbed to the bottom, I continued with my journey.
I finally got out of the Colorado mountain. It was pretty warm today. I got to Kansas. West Kansas is sparse. Nothing but farm land and cows. The farthest gas station was about 80 miles apart.
Stopped at Loaf N' Jug at La Junta, Kansas for food and gas. Continued on the US-400 and settled on Dodge City. Ate at the Cowboy Capital Saloon. They were out of the salmon special and corn bread. Got the steak.
The hotel I stayed at was cheap. It felt like the roof was going to fall on top of me. The Internet would cut out frequently. You get what you pay for.
Trip: ~400 miles.
Weather: Ok now. Light rain to moderate rain and a 40 F.
I skipped Cosmosphere, the space museum. Winds were absolutely mental here, pushing me like a pinball. The winds were so heavy, they reduced my overall mileage by at least 40 miles. I made it to Round 1 at Wichita. I set a high score on Gun Bullet X and entered "KEH."

Went east on US-400 and then the I-35 N. It was rainy, windy and cold. My fingers were soaked. If you were wondering why I don't have waterproof winter gloves, it's because I generally don't ride during the rain in winter 🤡.
It was getting too painful. I had to stop at the Matfield Green Service Area. A Love's gas station attendant chatted me up about my motorcycle, my trip, and Dollywood.
The bottom of my old rain pants were even more damaged 🤡. I was warming up thanks to the bathroom hand dryer. I bought some Gatorlyte and ordered a Subway meatball sub, the boss. The only things I order from Subway are the tuna sub (swiss, mayo, cucumber, olives) and the meatball sub (swiss, red onions, olives). I was absolutely freezing.
It was raining even harder. I sat in the lobby ready to continue the suffering and I heard a great song. "Take my breath away" by Berlin. That movie heavily associated with Top Gun 1. It reminded me of the scene where Tom Cruise was on his fast Kawasaki GPZ 900R wearing no helmet.
While listening to it, I saw two girls eat a DQ blizzard and ice cream cone. I've never been to DQ, so I bought an Oreo blizzard. It's kind of like a McDonald's Mcflurry oreo. I was about to resume the pain and I heard another great song. "Running up that hill" by Kate Bush. I saw the next big town is Emporia, Kansas. The rain was projected to continue. I decided to end early instead of risk dying. I traveled 30 more minutes before I stopped in Emporia. I went to Walmart for 20 more Instax film and a sewing kit. This hotel was really nice and it was $100. I went to Panda Express for 2 entrees and noodles. I decided sewing is too much like work. I can salvage these old rain pants when I get home. I decided to use the new rain pants I got in Maryland. The rain coat got my entire front soaked. My back was ok. My rain coat is pretty old. I think it needs a new application of anti-rain stuff.
My hands had a full set of nails. I know this seems insignificant, but as a lifelong habitual nail biter, it was an interesting sight. Riding a motorcycle may seem stressful, but it has the opposite effect. Trying not to die requires you to clear your mind completely.
Laundry machine was broken. Brutal. I ended up washing some of my clothes in the sink.
Trip: ~242 miles.
Weather: cold, mild rain. Will get heavy rain near St. Louis.
Went to Joe's Kansas City BBQ at Olathe. Anthony Bourdain (RIP), was a famous chef, who recommended this place as one of 13 places to eat before you die in Men's Health magazine. I ordered the half-rack of ribs. I wasn't expecting too much, but when I got it, it was a lot bigger than I expected. I don't think a half-rack is supposed to be this big. It took some work to down it. Also got a side of beans, a slice of white bread, some sliced pickles. The BBQ was layered in flavor. The sauce hits you then the rib rub hits you. It was a lot better than the stuff we have in New York. I wondered if I had any better BBQ anywhere else. To be honest, I'm not sure. There was a "Super Target" nearby. I've never seen such a thing.



After riding around, I found my friend's grave and placed the colorful rocks I got and some of my homemade cigarettes. Said some words and left. I had to jump the fence several times in my heavy gear. I went to two Starbucks in the area to find and get the "Kansas City" "been there" mug for a friend.
Went to a gas station and put on my new rain pants from Maryland. The rain pants even got the bad areas reinforced. My pegs would scratch the bottom of my pants and it tore up my old rain pants. Put up rain gear on bags. Past Kansas City, as expected, the weather rained lightly as I expected. St Louis is supposed to have heavy rain. Went to a cheap motel in Columbia, Missouri. Cheap but bare bones. Since that BBQ, I didn't feel much hunger. Protein shake for dinner. Laundry machine was broken. Brutal.
Trip: ~252 miles.
Weather: No rain except a tiny amount in Kentucky. 30 F here, expected to get warmer east.
The gas station near me had gambling machines in here. I noticed the Tsum Tsum Sailor Mickey Mouse I had on my keychain is gone. RIP. It was freezing. About 30 degrees F. With the windchill, I had to stop more frequently to warm up. I had a chicken sandwich for lunch. It warmed up, as expected, the more east I got. Passed St. Louis, Missouri and saw the Gateway Arch from a safe distance. You know, it's a national park? Passed Illinois and Indiana.
Went to Nic and Norman's in Louisville, Kentucky. Norman Reedus' restaurant. He's from a popular tv show about zombies named "The Walking Dead". I parked in a nearby paid parking lot. I think I could have parked on the sidewalk and gotten away with it. I thought against it. Police take two things very seriously. Murder and parking enforcement. Got the fancy burger with a special mix of meat and excellent sweet potato fries. I think this burger was noteworthy. It reall is the special blend of meat. I really recommend it. Took some pictures. Didn't see Norman Reedus in person but that's ok. I'll see him in The Bikeriders film. It's about a biker gang coming to theaters in Summer 2024. He also has an interesting motorcycle and travel show Ride with Norman Reedus. It started to rain. I asked someone nearby about it and they said it'll stop in 10 minutes. It actually stopped in 10 minutes. I had to wait anyway due to the surface oil after rain. As a side note, there's more than one Nic & Norman on the planet. Check it out here: locations





Went to Round 1. I greased up my chain since it was getting looser and I'm sure the recent rain dried it out. I also noticed some minor goofiness when I'm about 50 mph and I throttle on. I really need to take it to a mechanic tomorrow. I may need more oil too. The security guard saw I was wearing motorcycle gear. I talked to him about the trip. He said he rides a Suzuki Hayabusa. A bike that tops off at around 190 mph. I played Time crisis 4 and I got high score #2. I couldn't input my name correctly since the machine was so old. Tried standing at different angles. Moving closer and farther. Nope. Brutal.

Started to go to the hotel. At a stop light, I started to move forward and the chain made loud grind noises. It made me go "nope" and I cut off 2 vehicles at a stop light with my hand waving. I drove on a nearby empty road and tested the bike. Seemed ok. I guessed it only happened at low speeds. So I went on the free way. I only had 8 miles. So I drove on the right most lane and at 60 mph. Got there ok.
This hotel didn't sell single use detergent so I went to the nearby gas station and I was hit with deja vu.
I did my laundry and air dried them.
Trip: ~415 miles.
Weather: Cold today. Warmer south and sunny too.
It's been ~3,980 miles since the Vegas mechanic. My oil is running low and my chain is getting real loose.
My right ear was itchy. I should have cleaned the ear plugs. It had some sand back from the dunes. I called a nearby Kawasaki dealer & mechanic, they said they were full for days. I said I just need the chain tightened, some oil, and tire air. They said they'll give me 30 minutes of service work. I took my bike to CC Powersports - Louisville and they took my bike in.
The salesmen showed me the latest and greatest bikes. I was tempted but my Ninja 300 is too new to trade. I played their Simpsons bowling arcade game and read my book.
Went to Cracker Barrel for the first time. Meatloaf was ok. Good price. The mechanics fixed a bunch of stuff real quick. My bike oil was at the low level. Was changed. The last oil change was 4k miles. Chain was tightened. I was almost due for major servicing at around 11k miles according to my manual.
Cold today. I decided to go straight to Pigeon Forge. Skipping Mammoth Caves and Nashville. I was looking forward to the lively music land of Nashville. I figure I can go some other time. But now, there is only a thin window of full sun days.
It got warmer when I arrived at the Tennessee border. Lots of pink trees. Budding trees. Arrived at exit 407. This place has a more friendly Christian vibe. I should note that some exits are based on miles since the start of the highway. So exit 407 is more like mile number 407. Went to the Buc-ee's #45 to try to get a replacement sticker for the partially damaged Buc-ee sticker on my helmet. I didn't put the sticker on well enough. But only the mascot gives stickers of large size during the weekend. That place was immaculately run. The bathrooms were like a palace. It was worth visiting just to look at this gigantic bathroom. This was the largest Buc-ee's. Got a variety fudge pack for my friend in Maryland.

I went to Sevierville and checked out the Dolly Parton statue. Drove a little bit south to Pigeon Forge. It was a little bit crowded here due to it being spring break. This place has a lot of family-friendly energy. This place is one big tourist-trap full of all sorts of family-friendly entertainment and food. Mini-golf, arcade, festival food, odd sights, water parks, zorb balls, animals, go-karts, dinner-shows, and more. Directly south of here is Gatlinburg and then the Great Smoky Mountain National Park.


I went to The Island. Parked and took the tram. Went to Paula Deen's Family Kitchen. I went here because of comedian Lavell Crawford's recommendation. He's the guy that played Huell on Breaking Bad. He's the guy that first laid on the big pile of money in that show. Paula Deen's food is Southern comfort food made with a ton of butter. I checked in. 45 minutes to wait. I walked around the outside area. It had a giant Ferris wheel, arcades, interesting foods, and basic everything you'd want in a family place. It was bustling.

Watched the water fountain for 15 minutes. Did some Duolingo. I just sat there taking it all in. This grand journey is almost complete. A few days left in this grand goofy journey and I could still die a BRUTAL closed-casket death.
I went back to the restaurant and bought some blackened seafood seasoning. I went upstairs and before I was seated, I saw a to-scale Paula Deen cardboard cutout. I starved for 9 hours for this. I was somewhat prepared. I didn't know this, but the portions were for 2+ people minimum, and there's no take out allowed except for dessert. I ordered the smallest meal. Two seasoned biscuits covered in cheese and butter, Mac and cheese, Fried okra, BBQ pork and beans, Creamed corn, Chicken and dumplings, Fried catfish.


The couple next to me was cheering me on. I said "I thought 'family restaurant' was a restaurant with 'family style' food. Not portions meant for a family."
The food was fantastic. I thought I would have trouble staying awake, but I think there was so much seasoning that it raised my blood pressure and prevented a food coma. Like coffee and alcohol, a Zambooki. I finished all of it. The waitress was impressed and said she's never seen one person eat that much here 🥴. Next time, I'll bring another person.
I took the banana pudding dessert home, which I was allowed to. I went to my hotel and passed out.
In this area, I decided not to go to The Tail of the Dragon. This is a windy road and a high crash area. A magnet for motorcyclists. I also decided to skip the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. This place is the most visited US National Park. Almost as many as the next top parks combined. I'll do these next time when there's more plant life and when it's not winter. There's also a large motorcycle museum nearby, Wheels Through Time, which was closed at this time.
Trip: ~282 miles.
Weather: Sunny, 60 F.
Exactly as I have foreseen. A perfect sunny day.
Time to go to Dollywood. I'd never heard of this place until I started planning this trip. It's a Dolly Parton, the famous country singer, and country-themed theme park. It's very popular.
Went to Dollywood at 10:30 am due to my body clearing out yesterday's heavy dinner. I paid for the ticket and parking at the gate. I didn't have to wait much. Bought stuff at the gift store early, and I'm glad I did, because that place is crowded at night. It's also the park exit 🧠. I started by going right. I hear most people go right initially for these parks.


Went on four coasters. Lightning Rod, Big Bear, Wild Eagle, and Mystery mine. These high thrill coasters had a 50 minute wait. I read about programming on the line. On the line you can: do Duolingo, doom scroll, do your taxes, play the word forehead guess game, "Heads Up!", read a book. If you don't want to wait, you can get the TimeSaver pass. Check for other pass benefits and limitations. All the coasters were nuts and less than 2 minutes long. Still, two thumbs up 👍👍. The eagle and the Mine one made me a little queasy. I should note that my Motorcycle has never made me even 1% queasy.

Lots of kids about 10 to 16 years old around here and enjoying the high thrill coasters. These coasters had the speed, the twists, the loops, the drops, they had them all.
Saw a bunch of bros wearing black Dolly shirts. Thought that was interesting. One guy pointed at me while he was on the Drop Line and waved at me and I waved at him too. Kids were everywhere and were bouncing off the walls. They would bump into me in the line and were using the railing to swing on. I saw some girls playing Heads Up! from their phone while waiting in life.
Saw the Trio, Again show. I rarely see concerts, but this one was nice. They have a variety of other shows too at the park.
Walking around had interesting sights and food. There's even a coal-fired steam-engine train you can ride around the park. I ate a burger there. It was pretty good. I saw some bald eagles. I ate some desserts like funnel cake and a sugar cookie with ice cream and fixings on top. Great stuff.



Overall, a very nice, fun, interesting, pleasant theme park. I'll probably come back in the future. I hear they will add another coaster.
In Pigeon Forge, I saw Big Top arcade so I parked. I did the golf course nearby. I did terribly. Everything was not level making it a brutal course. I went to the arcade but wasn't interested in any games. I saw a bull rider. I did that and that was exhausting. The pros make it look extremely easy.
Went to a gas station's store, Jimmy's. Saw a quarter pusher. Haven't seen those in decades. There was a man pumping quarters into it. I chatted him up. He talked about wasting money as he kept dumping quarters and warning me about the machine. I talked about my motorcycle trip and wanting to create a video game. He said I could become the next Sid Meier. I replied that I read his book, "Memoir!" and that Civilization is a great game. Great book, by the way. He said that he enjoyed playing that game for hours on end. I remember I played that game in the morning and when I beat the game, it was completely dark outside.
I was sweating a lot. I thought I contracted ebola from the park and that this was my last day on Earth. He said "Nah, it's just hot. Even I'm turning red." He was turning into a tomato. The gas station really needs to dial down the hell. I got a Mango Electrolit and a guava one too.
This region is dense with natural beauty, culture, and entertainment for kids and adults. They also got a DollyWood Splash Country water park and a resort too. You can probably spend a lot of days here.
Trip: ~11 miles.
Weather: Little chilly but sunny.
There was some traffic leaving Pigeon Forge. Most of my trip was through Virginia. Ate at Hardee's. Was pretty good. Nothing eventful happened. Skipped Blue Ridge Parkway, a very scenic highway for motorcyclists. Skipped Shenandoah National Park. That's for next time.
I met with my Maryland friend again at night. My friend told me his dad wants to visit a Buc-ee's. Buc-ee's is virtually unknown in the northeast. I gave my friend a Buc-ee's plastic bag for his dad. I had some fudges from the Sevierville Buc-ee's. We had some fudges. It tasted like a block of sugar and fudge. I looked at the ingredients and sugar was on the top. We both agreed that it was a bit too rich for our tastes.
I gave him the Banana Pudding from Paula Deen's restaurant. I took a spoonful, call it a 500-mile delivery tax. The dessert was nice, nothing too extra, just right.
We talked about maybe going to the island of wild horses nearby. Went to ramen for dinner 👍👍.
Trip: ~500 miles.